In which it’s Simone’s turn

For the month of December–with bonus posts on November 30 and January 1!–I am delighted to welcome a wonderful assortment of guest bloggers to take over the helm. Please enjoy their generous contributions to the blog this month. My own bloggery will resume January 2. I wish you and yours happiness and health this holiday season. Please note: comments are disabled until my return.

Here I am, on Deanna’s blog! I’ve always wanted to be here, calling all of you chickens and chatting away. I think Deanna is buried in deadline land, so I’m just going to take a quick look through her perfume collection while I’m here. Also her clothes and her shoes. Please don’t tell; you know you’d do it, too.

As I’m rifling through her things, I may as well talk about the holidays. It may not seem obvious to the casual observer, but the holidays are very important to writers. We get out of our chairs and make an effort. We may even change clothes. It’s true! And that’s not all we do at this time of year. And so, as I check out Deanna’s jewelry drawer, I give you:

Some Things Writers Do Around the Holidays

Look at our families. No, wait, look for our families. We haven’t seen them in weeks.

Remove the books stored in the oven and contemplate cooking something. Turn knobs to see what they do.

Buy thoughtful gifts for the dust bunnies that have kept us company all year long.

Drink wine.

Attend parties and family gatherings, then stare blankly at the wall, plotting, while the other humans feel the need to speak.

Shock our husbands by wearing makeup we haven’t worn since last Christmas. (And yes, it’s makeup we bought in 1999. That hot pink lip gloss is still perfectly good.)

Fall asleep under the Christmas tree in the middle of the afternoon. We’re used to napping.

 Hug strange children who seem happy to see us, then realize they’re ours.

Lock ourselves in the bathroom to hide from the in-laws. (Sometimes we bring the cat.)

Attempt shoes of some kind, then give up in confusion.

Drink more wine.

Wander through shopping malls, wondering who all of these people are, where they came from, and what anyone could possibly want for Christmas that is not a book.

It’s so festive! It really is. And then, once all the excitement has worn down, we get back into our jammies and return to work. This usually happens around 7 p.m. on Christmas Day. Whew! What a delightful break that was. Time to get back to it!

So there you have it. Thank you to Deanna for letting me host today! And thank you for the perfume. And the scarf. And the shoes. They’re divine!

 Simone St. James is the author of the RITA-award winning The Haunting of Maddy Clare as well as An Inquiry Into Love and Death. Her next book, Silence For the Dead, releases April 1, 2014. You can find her at her website www.simonestjames.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/simonestjames.