In which reader Heather asks about my first book

As an aspiring writer, reader Heather was curious about my first experience with novel-writing. She wrote: when you started your first novel, how did it feel? Did it come easily? I am finding it scary and difficult, and I can only hope it gets better.

I wrote my first novel--not Silent in the Grave--when I was 23. I had just finished my first year of teaching and was feeling bored and restless when the summer came around. I had re-read Jane Eyre and decided to write something in a similar vein--mysterious, historical, with a nod to the Gothic. (I should point out that this was not just a whim. I had always planned that I would write novels.) Anyway, I sat down with a germ of an idea--no plot, no outline, no character studies--and wrote. I wrote every day for six or seven hours straight, something I've never managed to do since. My fingers would be stiffened into claws by the end of the day and my back would ache so badly I had to lie down on the floor just to straighten it out. But the experience of writing was brilliant. I loved it passionately. It was the first time I felt I really had the opportunity to let my imagination off the leash and see where it roamed. (I also learned the importance of backing up my work when I lost an entire afternoon's writing to a power surge.)

At the end of six weeks, I had a book. I didn't know what to do with it, of course, but I had a book. So I packaged it up and sent it off to a publisher who declined to purchase it, but who wrote a letter that began, "I think your writing is absolutely wonderful." That was the first time I realized I could fashion a career for myself at writing. Of course, it was almost sixteen years before I actually saw a book of mine in print, but the experience of writing that first book was absolutely magic.

Heather, since you remarked that you're finding it difficult, I'm going to offer a completely unsolicited observation: it is possible that you are allowing your internal editor too much of a voice at this point. Do what you must to shut her up. The first book--and most especially the first DRAFT of the first book--is just for writing. It's for making mistakes and miscues, it's messy. But the most important thing is to get something on paper. You can push and pull and lop and crop and make whatever you like of it once it's THERE, but you must have something to work with. It's like dressmaking. You have a length of gorgeous fabric, but it's nothing until it's cut and draped and pinned and sewn. But you will never have anything to cut and drape and pin and sew if you don't get the fabric first. Reader Megan, I hope that answers your question about internal editors as well. You have to simply ignore and push through! If you want a follow-up to this, just leave a comment and I'm happy to elaborate. Good luck to both of you!