In which I want to rant
I'm not going to because it's just unmannerly, even on your own blog. I mean, honestly. Doesn't the world have enough bitching without me adding to it?
Yeah, whatevs. I'm cranky because I have to do Unexpected Errands. I LOATHE errands as it is, but I keep that in check when I schedule them and they are planned for. It's the spontaneous, illicit errand that annoys the EVERLASTING BEEJEESUS out of me, and today I have two of them and they involve two of the four places I dislike the most: DMV and bank. (The other two are medical professionals and anything involving the car. The exception to medical errands is chiropractor. We LOVE chiropractor because he fixes us.)
Anyway, I've got my pouty pants on and it's not a good look for me, so I shall leave you with a few observations:
1. Rachel McAdams needs to be brunette. Again and always. Not a blonde and not a redhead. I've been saying this for years and since I just read a similar sentiment on a prominent fashion blog, I am crossing my fingers that someone who loves her takes her aside and says, "YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH NATURAL BRUNETTE COLORING AND ALTERING THAT IS FLYING IN THE FACE OF GOD." Some women can pull off the trifecta of hair color, but those women are clearly aliens on recon and trying out different forms of human camouflage to distract us from their body scales.
2. I love 70% of the song "The Edge of Glory". Most of it is a perfect dance tune, but then it goes strangely Supertramp and I feel this was ill-advised. (And I say this as a person who likes Supertramp.)
3. The athletic bolster may be the coolest thing I have ever bought. Actually I don't even know if it's called that but it looks like a pool noodle on steroids--short and girthy. Chiropractor introduced us this week, and it was love at first sight. This thing actually activates my trigger points FOR ME so I can get them to release between visits to Chiro's office. It also does this nifty thing when I lay directly on it, positioning it up and down my spine; it opens my shoulders up and undoes the Quasimodo damage I'm inflicting every day at my computer. I look like a spatch-cocked chicken and it hurts like the thorny playing fields of hell, but OH MY GOD, does it feel good when I get up. I bought mine at Target for $40 in the same section where they have yoga mats and other calming crap. I think I'm going to name mine.
4. I hit 300 pages on my revision yesterday which means the end is shimmering within reach. My goal is to finish this draft by next Tuesday since I'm taking off for Phoenix the next day--which I keep spelling "Phoenize" for reasons that ESCAPE ME. And I just realized I don't know what people in Phoenix are called, but please, please, PLEASE let it be Phoenicians. Because that would be kind of awesome.
Comments
I completely agree
First nothing good ever comes from the DMV. I recently went to the BMV (in Indiana they have to be different) and after 3 attempts and being sent on a wild goose chase for something I was supposedly missing, I finally got my tags moved from my previous state. So I feel you on that one.
I avoid the bank like the plague and love waiting in a doctor's office for an hour for an appointment which I spend less than 10 minutes with the doctor. Oh and let's not even discuss the car. Mechanics are scum suckers. Yes I get angry when you think you can take advantage of me because I am female.
This post made me laugh out loud. Just what I needed.
Pouty Pants? That just made
Pouty Pants? That just made me laugh. Now to your points:
1. Yes, yes, yes. Brunette Rachel McA is the best Rachel McA (though blonde definitely suited the character in Midnight in Paris). Red lips on Rachel McA when she is a brunette are amazing. Need, must, have to see The Vow.
2. Just saying Supertramp brings me back to the summer of 1978. Thank you.
3. Do you mean the foam roller (athletic bolster -- HA)??? It's amazing in how it can make you cry when you use it on trigger points and how it opens you up when you lay on it.
4. Being a former Scottsdalian (my official name for it) -- yes, it's Phoenician. Are you going to Poisoned Pen? Have a fabulous time!
Laura
YES, foam roller!
THAT'S what they're called! Honestly, though, you're lucky I didn't just call it an athletic booster...
I will indeed be at the Pen--and I'm delighted to learn that they are Phoenicians. Day=made.
Jana
LOL. I love reading your blog entries.
My massage therapist has been urging me to get one of those bolsters. I have the yoga variety, but I think this would work better to undo the "Quasimodo" damage you speak of. I'll pop over to Target and buy one. Then I can join you in the "thorny playing fields of Hell".
DO IT!!
You will thank your massage therapist with cookies, I guarantee it.
Sweet mother of coffee...
...this left me in stitches.
First, I shall your dislike, boarding on nearly full-blown loathing, of those Errand Places of Vileness. Because nothing good EVER comes of going there; they are a blackhole of SUCK.
Second, that back thing sounds divine, and I feel like I need to invest in one. My well-knotted shoulders thank you in advance.
Third, McAdams is such a lovely girl -- and a lovely actress -- the blonde hair throws me through an angry loop. IT WILL NOT DO.
This entry made me chuckle quite a bit. I hope your errands go swiftly and without incident. I suggest stopping for chocolates if time allows, because they make EVERYTHING better.