In which I am pondering

As I told you yesterday, I had a power glitch on Friday and lost some work. (Thank heaven it was revision work and not something completely fresh or I would still be howling.) Anyway, as you know, I've been doing some thinking about personal growth issues, being positive, rejecting stress, yada yada. And then I had my minor catastrophe, which I was not at all surprised by. (It is a truth universally acknowledged, at least by me, that as soon as I undertake to refine myself a wee bit, something comes along to say, "Hey, giving serenity a try? Let's see how it's working for you.")

And it was a struggle to get past it. First off, when I lose work, I get completely enraged in ways that only Bruce Banner would understand. The fact that I could have done one or two things to mitigate the losses beforehand and DIDN'T only made me more inclined to throw breakables. I didn't, but oh, how I longed to.

The second most challenging part is that when people know you're working on self-improvement (a phrase I loathe, but it's late and the original turn of phrase eludes me), is that everyone expects you to snap right out of it. Honestly, I felt a lot more like snapping heads off, but I did figure out a plan of action. Here's what I needed:

1. A sympathetic ear. Sometimes you just need to have someone pat your head and say, "Yes, that was the most catastrophic thing EVER to happen to anyone". And then you can rise above it and be noble and say, "Well, not really, but thank you for understanding".

2. A breather. As it happened, I didn't have much time to work on fixing the losses before I had to leave the house for a doctor's appointment. I came thiiiiiiis close to canceling, but unless I am carrying the ebola virus, I just can't bring myself to cancel a doctor's appointment on short notice. So I went, and getting away from the problem for a little while actually helped.

3. Assessment of the situation with a clear head. Once I was able to see through the red mist of rage, I figured out that the schedule I had for finishing the revisions was unrealistic, particularly after I lost half a day. So, I reworked the schedule by eliminating something I did not actually need to do. Et voila, something completely workable and humane.

4. Playtime. I know. It seems counter-intuitive, but before I settled back in to work, I took a few minutes off. I grabbed a novel, brewed a cup of Irish tea the size of my own head, and settled into the couch for a quarter of an hour of guilt-free reading. I put on my most comfortable and ludicrous pajamas to make me smile, and then went back to my study to get to work.

5. A support system. My parents, who really ought to be given medals of some sort, swung into action, and told me not to worry about picking the girlchild up from school or fixing dinner. They fed me and freed me up to finish the recovery of the work I'd lost.

So, was it a perfect day? Not by a long shot. But it ended up being a productive one, in unexpected ways.