and lie down on the floor with my tongue hanging out, it is that hot. It's absurd to complain about the heat during summer, of course, but it's a wee bit early for us to be having heat this extreme. I learned how to cope with the heat growing up in south Texas, which you will be not at all surprised to note has four months of the year that are hotter than the hammered-down hinges of Hell. I just didn't think I'd have to use those coping strategies once I left home! But here's my plan, and please add any and all tips of your own:
*Errands are for mornings only. You haven't really experienced heat until you've accidentally rested a tender body part on a car seat that's been preheated to about 1200 degrees. Your skin will shrivel up and evaporate in front of your very eyes, which is entertaining but very soon painful. The only way to avoid this is to refuse to go out when the sun is shining. Since I write in the mornings, this basically means I am a shut-in for the better part of three months.
*Cooking is not an option. I covered this in an earlier blog, but it bears repeating that on no account must the oven be turned on or heat applied to food in any way. Sandwiches, salads, fruit, and ice cream--these are the four summer food groups.
*Ditto for laundry. It's not the washer; it's the dryer. And while I love the idea of line-dried clothing, the reality is that I am not hauling wet laundry outside and back again just for fun. Forty years after my grandmother got an electric dryer, she was still telling bitter tales of chipping frozen diapers off the line in winter and trying to avoid lightning from summer storms. Honestly, if I could find some nice, earth-friendly, biodegradable clothing that my family could just toss in the compost pile, I would stockpile it like nobody's business.
*Sundresses. I have a closet packed full of sundresses that I have no business owning. I am forty-two. I shouldn't own things with ruffles, spaghetti straps, or sherbet stripes. But I do, and until the weather breaks, I am not apologizing. I'm also not wearing them in public. See above.
*Reading cool books. People, including me, often say that summer books should reflect the season--books like The Love Letter and Summertime are on my personal favorite summer reading list. Until it hits 95. Anything above that and I want Nancy Mitford and Dorothy Parker. I crave cool wit and bracing cocktails and prose so sharp I can hear the ice clinking in the glass. No adventure or travel memoirs, no books set in beach towns or summer camps or vacation villas. Nothing but chilly elegance until the heat breaks.
