In which I contemplate retreat

I love the idea of retreat, don't you? Particularly at this time of year when there is so much to do, to be, to make. The notion of simply withdrawing and being small and still and quiet is alluring. Don't get me wrong, I am very much in the holiday spirit this year, but sometimes that carousel of activity whirls a bit too fast for me and I long to jump off. And that's when I start looking up convents online. I've always liked the idea of nuns, dating to when I saw an episode of "The Bionic Woman" where Jaime went undercover at a convent and wore a habit. (I LOVED the habit. The flowing, austere black and white--no wonder Coco Chanel claimed to have been forever shaped as a designer by her early years in an orphanage. Probably not true, but a good story, no?)

Anyway, that episode set me on a career path until my mother sat me down and explained that if I became a nun I couldn't wear makeup, couldn't have any boyfriend besides God, and that--perhaps more to the point--we weren't Catholic. So I gave up my dream of taking the veil, which let's be honest, was really just about the VEIL itself.(Why did those go out of fashion? Veils are CHIC.) But even though I turned my ambitions elsewhere, I still remembered the cool silence, the long polished hallways, the lack of chatter at meals, and decided that convents would still be an excellent place to go and enjoy a bit of repose.

I keep imagining a peaceful place with a quiet room, a stack of books, and no interruptions, perhaps with a bit of plainsong in the background. Of course, this is a hopelessly outdated and naive picture of convent life. I have since toured the convent where the nuns at my daughter's school live and it's nothing at ALL like I pictured. There are no floor-sweeping black habits or herb knot gardens or vows of silence, and it occurs to me that I might like a pedicure or massage during my retreat so a spa is really the best place for me. I wonder if I could find one that enforces silence and pipes in a nice bit of medieval chant?

In which I am merely a link in the chain

Reader Ali--well aware of my love for all things "Bohemian Rhapsody"--was kind enough to pass this along to me the other day. My favorite part? Pepe. You?

In which the holidays cometh

And in the interest of being merry, I bring you once more the opportunity to Elf Yourself.

In which it is Thanksgiving in the States

Today is our national celebration of Good Stuff--a day to remember what we are most grateful for. This is actually one of the things that makes me proudest to be from this country, the fact that at some point in our history we got together and said, "We need to set aside a whole day to come together, count our blessings, and eat ourselves senseless while we root for our favorite college football teams." Well, maybe that's not quite how it came about, but you take my meaning.

Personally, I am full UP with things to be grateful for, most of which y'all already know about. I have a family that brings nothing but the great and good into my life; I have friends who are so devoted and loyal that if I ever confessed to murder, their collective response would be, "We've got shovels"; and I get to do what I love for people who are so kind and so gracious in their appreciation it quite regularly takes my breath away. Thank you, readers, for your generosity, your enthusiasm, and for loving my characters as much as I do. It is a pleasure to write for you.

Now, I will leave you with a few words about gratitude from folks who were far more eloquent than I.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.~Buddha

You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.~G.K. Chesterton

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.~Meister Eckhart

In which I find this peculiar

According to Yahoo News, just over 50% of us will be buying our pets Christmas presents, and apparently that's up from 49% last year. I have always bought my pet a Christmas gift, but I didn't realize that until this year I was in the minority. Don't get me wrong, I don't throw birthday parties for them or buy them clothing--seriously, pets dressed as people is one of my biggest peeves, unless you live in a climate that demands you take steps to protect your animal, and even then an argyle sweater is really pushing it. But I assumed most people shared the holiday with their pets by buying a new toy or a box of liver snaps or a new bed. (It occurs to me now that I have once or twice actually WRAPPED the present, which probably puts me on a whole new level of odd. We won't speak of it--just pretend you didn't read that and we'll move on.)

I was also interested in the bit about pets and holiday decorations. We are actually forgoing a proper tree this year because of Deacon. I'm a firm believer in not letting a pet rule your life, but honestly, chasing and wrestling down a 60-pound puppy who thinks your Christmas tree is just a really boss chew toy is not on my holiday agenda. Last week he happily carted around a four-foot long branch that--with a bit of tinsel and some twinkling lights--could have passed for a Christmas tree. I shudder to think what he would do with something the same width, twice the height, and loaded with fragile ornaments. Oh, the carnage! So, we are opting instead for evergreen garlands over the doorways for some proper Christmas scent and a tabletop tree to decorate, and hopefully by next year he will be a very nicely behaved 21-month old who will behave with decorum. At least that's my Christmas wish...

And speaking of Christmas, I received my first holiday card last week, and actually watched someone buy a live Christmas tree two days ago. It begins!

In which I am revising

And goodness me, isn't this a turnabout? I used to loathe revising. It made me ill to have to go back and revisit something I had already written. But from experience I've learned to love revising. It's like the girl you met in school and were totally prepared to hate until you discovered you had eleventy million things in common and became BFFs. Revising is now my BFF. That doesn't mean I still don't have to talk myself down off the ledge every time I start, but it does mean I have come to appreciate how much SIMPLER it is to deliver a good scene when you have the bones in place and just have to tweak it as opposed to building a rocket ship from parts every time. And it's tremendously fulfilling to take the raw scene and shape it into something wonderful--it's like birth, only without the good drugs and messy bits.

Anyway, I am in the pleasant creative fog of revisions at present, and in my down time I'm baking, making holiday plans, and watching "Clatterford". I don't know how I didn't even realize this show existed, but it combines two of my favorite things, Britcoms and a Women's Institute type of organization called the Ladies' Guild. (I deeply lament the fact that I don't live in England for loads of reasons and the WI is one of them. I follow them on Twitter, and I have to say, it gave me NO END of delirium to find that a branch of the WI is following me back.)

The series chronicles the lives of the guild members, and a wonderfully dysfunctional group it is. If you are a fan of BBCAmerica, you will probably spend the first episode pointing at the television, hollering, "I know her!" because the cast is superb--Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley, and a host of fabulously talented women. (I did sound as if I had some sort of neurological disorder because I kept calling out, "It's Father Ted's housekeeper!" "I know that guy--he ran off with Bridget Jones' mother!" "And there's Bridget's friend Shazzer!" Be warned.) And it is no spoiler to tell you that my absolute favorite bit is the shot of the pew cozies in the church.

If you have a favorite Britcom I might have missed, do holler!

In which I might have a new life philosophy

Recently I ran across a quote: "I live like I'm always on vacation." Now, the woman quoted was being profiled in a fashion magazine so the piece turned to how she dresses, but I admit I am far more interested in how she lives. I started pondering how I would live if I were always on vacation, and the picture is a seductive one.

1. I wouldn't sweat the small stuff. In my day-to-day life, the details are what bog me down. On vacations, I move airily through the slowdowns, the breakdowns, the little annoyances because I am on vacation, and to loose my poise would threaten the entire trip, a trip for which I have spent lots of money and raised lots of hope. Mindful of the cost to both my wallet and my peace of mind, I let the little things go and put on a happy face when I have to deal with glitches.

2. I would be nicer. Because I'm on vacation, I'm conscious of being less stressed, and in turn, I'm nicer to everybody, including myself. I release my perfectionism and go with the flow more.

3. I would read more for pleasure. I never take work on a vacation with me, aside from the tiny flash drive that contains my last four novels. And that's just a safety precaution; I never actually get it near a computer because I stay far, far away from computers when I'm on vacation and I never travel with a laptop. So vacations are my one opportunity to fill my bags with a combination of books I have loved and books I expect to love. (Somehow the Kindle hasn't changed this at all. Because I had the Kindle battery die on me quite unexpectedly once, I always take a stack of books, usually cozy English mysteries.)

4. I would take more chances. When I travel, I often adopt a more devil-may-care attitude about things. I try new foods, I ignore the voice that natters on in the back of my mind trying to keep me safe and sedate. (You know the voice. She sounds like a prim little spinster and harps at you about eating your vegetables and getting your eight and a half hours of sleep every night.)

5. I would take more pictures. Well, alright, I don't actually take pictures on vacation, but my husband does, and therefore vacations are documented. Everyday life should be documented too, slices of reality preserved in aspic. I have gotten better about this since I bought an iphone, but I could improve.

6. I would check my email, Twitter, and Facebook accounts less. On vacation I am completely focused on my family. I do not check my various social media accounts, nor do I attend to email. My family is my priority and my pleasure during vacations.

And I wonder, how would you live differently if you lived your life as if you were always on vacation?

In which you should never feed pigeons

Like EVER.

In which I have never been to Italy

but now I really, really must go. Not simply because of the art, the history, the culture, the cuisine. Because of the giant snails.

On a completely unrelated note, today is my daughter's fifteenth birthday, and I can't imagine a more fabulous 15-year old. Happy birthday, sweetheart! Being your mom is the best thing I've ever done.

In which you should always observe the signs

To wit: these two signs that I noticed when I was last in DC at the National Museum of Natural History. (I am devoted to the natural history museums in DC and in New York. I don't know why, precisely. I am not particularly scientific of mind. But they are enchanting and appeal strongly to my inner child who thinks everyone should own a vivarium.)

In which I have learned much from "The Big Bang Theory"

Things I’ve learned from watching “The Big Bang Theory”:

1. Don’t watch on an empty stomach. The relentless scenes of Thai takeout and Cheesecake Factory locations, taken with the occasional foray into “I-love-you-briskets” and Chinese dumplings are no comfort to the hungry. This show should only be viewed with a bowlful of drunken noodles and some eggrolls.

2. Uniform dressing is not a bad thing. Every character on the show has a uniform. Sheldon wears short-sleeved t-shirts layered over long-sleeved versions; Leonard’s layers feature a hoodie while Raj favors the sweater vest, and Howard is always to be found in some variety of retina-scorching jeans with matching dickie and oversized comic-hero belt buckle. If I could figure out my uniform, I’d probably save myself a few years’ worth of shopping over the course of my life. (And I suspect it may be a nod to Albert Einstein, who allegedly had six of the same suit hanging in his closet so he would never have to think about what to wear. I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a good story, so I’m not fact-checking it.)

3. Creator Chuck Lorre’s plumb bob doesn’t hang straight. Read the vanity cards he posts at the end of the credits. They go fast, so pause your DVR or check them out at his website to make sure you don’t miss one.

4. The facts matter, even if you’re the only one who knows the difference. The writers of the show are not physicists and don’t try to be. Instead, they write “insert science stuff here” into the script and leave the details to their consulting physicist. He scribbles equations on their whiteboards and fills in the gaps so that the science is right. He doesn’t have to; there are probably a handful of people who watch this show who would know the difference, and heaven knows there are plenty of shows that take shortcuts. But they would know, and so they bring their physicist in to make certain that when they talk about Bose-Einstein condensates, they’re doing it correctly. I really, really love that. Because just between you and me, they could be rendering the phonetic applications of one of those African clicking dialects on the whiteboards and I wouldn’t know the difference. (And those African clicking dialects could be discussing string theory for all I know because I can’t decipher them either.)

5. There is no limit to how many times I can hear Sheldon sing “Soft Kitty”. No, really.

6. Routine is good. The more I watch this show, the more I find myself envying “Vintage Game Night” and “Comic Book Wednesday”. I think my life would be vastly simpler if I instituted “Taco Tuesday” and “Plaid Sunday”. It would eliminate all the guesswork about what to do, what to wear, what to eat. I realize the lack of spontaneity would kill me after about three days, but at least I would know what I was wearing to my own funeral.

In which I'm flogging books

So today I'm sharing a few titles I've read recently that I've enjoyed. In Virginia we've been experiencing a spate of executions. I have no idea why they come in batches, but they do, and I am intrigued by the psychology of execution. I recently came across Geoffrey Abbott's What A Way To Go, a compendium of execution methods over the centuries. It is gruesome and horribly fascinating, but I would caution you not to read the section on the electric chair if you have a tender stomach and you've just tucked in to a nice snack...

In a completely different vein, I have finished Gail McMeekin's The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, and it was divine. I have marked it up and made notes, and it is--as billed--a portable mentor. McMeekin interviewed a number of creative women including Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Women Who Run With The Wolves) and Sarah Ban Breathnach (Simple Abundance). For those of you who have enjoyed The Artist's Way, this is a similar type of book, meant to break down barriers to creativity and establish new patterns.

In which I am musing on bad people

A situation has cropped up recently that has gotten me to wondering, what makes a bad person? I think we all agree that anybody who abuses kids or kills folks is probably bad. (I say probably because you can always split ethical hairs here, and if you killed someone to prevent them from bombing a room full of people, you'd probably be considered a hero.) But I digress. What I'm really wondering about is the rest of us. When do our daily foibles and failures carry us over the line from good people who are fallible to people who are just not good PERIOD?

The situation is that a woman I know is friends with a mistress. She insists the mistress is a lovely, wonderful person who just happens to be involved in this situation. I pointed out that someone who willingly collaborates in endangering a marriage might have to stretch to reach the label of "wonderful". But it got me thinking, is this a bad woman? This is an ongoing relationship, so we can't give her the benefit of the doubt that she might not know his situation. We can't excuse her on any possible grounds of ignorance or gullibility or youth. She apparently has a history of making bad choices with men, and this is just the latest.

So is she a good person with a blind spot? A victim who is acting out to serve her own psychological issues? Or is she a bad person because she does bad things? At what point do we say, this is no longer a nice person or a good person because what she does is simply too big to be overlooked? How far can we excuse people we care about when they are deliberately choosing to engage in behavior that is destructive, willful, and--to most people--amoral? And what do we do when we are no longer willing to condone?

I have no answers here. I am merely wondering how this all fits together and when we cross the line from good folks who are misguided into being bad folks. I deal with these questions quite a lot in my novels because I am fascinated with the grey area in between. I like to create murderers who are justified--at least in their own minds--and upright citizens who leave mayhem in their wake. And then question of accountability is an endlessly fascinating one, I think. You?

On a side note, the girlchild is back at school this week--many thanks for the good thoughts!

In which I'm feeling pensive

Of course, thanks to J.K. Rowling, I always think of it as "pensieve" now and wonder how my thoughts are being filtered. But as I mentioned earlier, I've been doing loads of work on my personal growth lately--firing up my creativity, questioning some beliefs I've resisted adopting in spite of the fact that they happen to be true, that sort of thing.

Much of what I've been reflecting on has to do with my work, and as I come across tools that help me, I plan to share them in case they happen to work for you as well. But I'm curious as to how many of you are engaged in creative work. (Personally, I think ALL work can incorporate creativity, although sometimes this might prove elusive.) What about you? Is your work creative? Are you doing what you always dreamed you would do? Are you settling or are you working actively to pursue something? And most importantly, are you happy with your work?

In which I write a flying post

Thanks so much for the good wishes--my daughter is doing very well. We just have to keep a close eye on her for complications at this point and make sure she's getting nothing but rest and hydration!

We are on day three of our nor'easter, but the winds have died quite a bit and the rain is much lighter--the end is in sight at last, thank heaven. Between the storm and the swine, it's been a very strange week where I've been living an odd, hermetic sort of life. I haven't been out of the house at all since last weekend, except for a quick trip to the doctor on Wednesday, and I think I have forgotten how to drive and speak to people! But nesting has been the best thing for us, so I have in turn made the best of it. We've burned pumpkin candles and watched Lifetime movies and thumbed through Nigella books and eaten lots of things with cinnamon and drunk endless cups of tea. In the end, the week has been oddly comforting, and probably a good break before I start the last great push of revisions.

So, happy weekend, readers--and your good thoughts have been much appreciated!

In which I am sharing a secret

Alright, I really don't want to do this, but I am giving you the link to the most DIVINE Etsy store imaginable. I love every single thing that Persephone Plus has to offer--literally there is not one thing I wouldn't wear. I am ashamed to say I didn't share the link until AFTER I bought my extraordinary Gypsy fortuneteller earrings. (I also crave the Poe/Virginia earrings, the Anne Boleyns, the Theda Bara, the Corpse Bride necklace...I warned you.) Anyway, if you like the offbeat and elegantly eclectic, this is absolutely the place for you. My first impulse was to keep all the gorgeous to myself, but this stuff deserves to be SEEN. Enjoy!

Side note: my darling daughter has the swine flu, so while I hope to keep to my regular schedule of bloggery, posting may be sporadic. Hope the rest of you keep well!

In which I am flogging a book!

Year before last, when my first book came out, I had the honor of being nominated for an Agatha Award against Charles Finch. We were both new kids on the block, both passionate about Victorian mysteries, and both of us with a female character named Lady J. Grey! (His is Jane to my Julia.) In any event, Charlie was a delight to meet and a superb writer to boot, and it was my pleasure to read his new book, The Fleet Street Murders, before anybody else. Anyway, the latest installment of his Charles Lenox series is now out, so if you're looking for some delicious Victorian skullduggery, go forth and buy!

On a completely unrelated note, I actually dreamed about my characters this week, something I have done maybe twice EVER. They were arranging the March family Christmas potluck--something we KNOW that Hoots would never permit. Julia was supposed to bring the dessert and her elder sister, Olivia, said something hurtful about how they ought to brace themselves for cheese and biscuits because whatever it was would certainly not turn out...

In which I am not entirely certain I can blog today

Because I am gutted to find that evil lurks within the heart of a goldendoodle.

In which you might need a little life coaching

Don't we all? As I mentioned last week, I realized that I have woefully neglected myself the past few months and I am making up for lost time. Mercifully, the self is quite forgiving. I have worked through some issues in the past week that have dogged me for years simply because I decided I was ready to really pay attention to those little things that niggle away at the back of your mind but are never serious enough to demand real attention. It is astonishing how resilient the inner self is and how quickly and gratefully it responds to focused effort.

I'm not trying to be cryptic--my demons are mild and harmless fellows for the most part. For example, last week I realized for the first time that there are a few areas in which I am a people-pleaser. I don't like treading on toes or exerting my authority--stop laughing, I can hear you--but I discovered that it is precisely the times that I am uncomfortable doing so that I need to be able to feel confident in my choices. Oh, dear. I've slipped into cryptic again, haven't I? In that case, let's move on.

When I realized I wanted to do some personal growth work, I assembled my toolkit--books, podcasts, my journal. I printed out three months' worth of Daily Oms that I had neglected to really read and began to highlight them. And I found Christine Arylo's Self-Love Studio. Right now Christine is offering a FREE seven week teleclass with some of the most amazingly motivated and inspirational guru-chicks! I was intrigued by the fact that the class was free and at a convenient time--9pm Eastern on Wednesdays--but when I saw the roster of speakers, I signed up.

I should admit that I was a trifle skeptical and looked around for some fine print, but the class is entirely free. You can purchase MP3s of the classes if you like as well as some ancillary materials, but you can also just take advantage of the teleclass and invest only your time. I am sorry to say that I found the class too late to hear the first speaker, but I made it in time to hear Kimberly Wilson, and if you sign up now, you'll be right on track for the five remaining classes. If you're worried about spam, I will tell you that I have received two e-mails from Christine's studio with class details and that's it.

So, a little free life coaching from some amazing women--what's not to love?

In which we're talking about holiday music

I've already confessed that I have loaded the car with my holiday CDs. What I didn't tell you was that I have also been watching (listening to?) the Sounds of the Season Channel obsessively. (I am gutted that I missed the Halloween music. I forgot entirely to turn it over until November 1 and they had already started with Christmas.) Somehow just having Christmas music on in the background while I'm going about my day makes everything feel more pleasant. I also make a habit of buying a new holiday CD every year to build my collection, but this year I'll take a pass since last year I bought three including Bette Midler's "Cool Yule" and Loreena McKennitt's "A Midwinter Night's Dream".

So I'm wondering, what are YOU going to be listening to this holiday season?

In which we play creatively

I yammered on earlier this week about supporting my creativity through things like journal-keeping and reading about creativity. But there is another aspect of creativity that is just as important: creative play. Playing with thoughtfulness keeps us young and juicy in spirit, and I always find that when I am inspired in my play, my work only gets better. The queen of creative play, whether she realizes it or not, is Jane Brocket. She's an author and knitter and blogger and somehow manages to justify things like arranging her cupcakes by color. She plays with fabric and film and yarn and frosting and flowers and somehow manages to combine work and puttering into some wonderful Mobius strip of inspiration. My favorite book of hers is The Gentle Art of Domesticity--which I love so much I have in both the UK and US versions. When I get bogged and burdened by the "must-do" and "have-to" things in life, I can always rely on her to remind me to pick up the shiny colorful things and have FUN.

And I wonder, what do you do when you play?

In which we talk holidays

I know. Believe me, I shuddered when I loaded my holiday playlist to my iphone this week. But the holidays are coming faster than any of us like to think and that means it's time to start preparing, particularly if any of your gifts are going to be handmade. It's too late to start crocheting a scale model of St. Paul's Cathedral, but there is ample time to make some homemade treats, bottle some bath salts, or knit up a scarf. Here are a few links to help get you inspired: Craftzine and Get Crafty for general crafty fabulousness, and The Curiosity Shoppe for supplies, kits, and other goodies for the crafter in your life.

In which I continue to muse

Back to yesterday's post--honestly, I have no idea how it posted. I hit control somethingorother and POOF. There it was. Honestly.

Anyway, as I was saying, sometimes a change in your physical environment is helpful in supporting creativity. I have also taken all the tiny notes I had posted all over the wall next to my desk and typed them up into a single sheet of paper titled "Miscellanea". It's just an odd little jumble of mundane facts, snippets of lines I dreamed and want to use in a book someday, names for future characters, etc. Nothing earth-shaking, but nothing I wanted to lose. So I gathered it up in one spot and freed up rather a lot of real estate next to my desk.

I am also supporting my creativity with changes to my writing schedule. Just for now--GULP--I am not answering e-mail, blogging, tweeting, or checking Facebook until after I have worked. Oh, God, I think I feel the withdrawal hitting already. But the truth is, it is SO easy to get sucked into answering an e-mail because I know it will only take a few minutes or jotting a blog entry, when I really need to be writing instead when I am fresh and motivated. I think I fell into the habit of checking the other media because I worry something tremendously important might be happening that I should know about. Well, I just took four days off and for two of them I never even turned on a computer and guess what? The world was still there. Everybody who REALLY needs me has my phone number.

I am also shutting down the laptop as of suppertime. No after-dinner web-surfing for me. I will go online to buy a book or check my library account or my e-mail and when I look up, two hours have passed. No more! I am reclaiming my evenings.

So, what excellent tricks do YOU have for keeping yourself in balance?

And a side note to a reader who might never see it--last week it was brought to my attention that a reader named Mary recommended my books in the comments section of the Pop Watch column of Entertainment Weekly's website. Word of mouth is tremendously important to writers, and it is MUCH appreciated!

In which I have failed you

Oh, woe, dear readers. I did not mean to neglect you. The truth was, I got diverted doing some mental housekeeping and simply did not write today's blog entry. (Somehow when I stockpiled them last week, I thought I had included one for Tuesday...mea culpa.)

Autumn is introspective, I think. I always seem to do some good work on myself in autumn, clearing out the cluttered closets in my head and refolding everything neatly and tucking things tidily away so I can find them again.

Last July, I sat and chatted with an aspiring writer, lecturing her firmly on the necessity for supporting one's personal creativity. And then I proceeded to come home and neglect my own severely. (What do they say about the cobbler's wife? Yeah, my soles were getting pretty thin.) Anyway, I have taken that big broom of change to my habits and am swallowing a dose of my own advice, just to mix a few metaphors.

For starters, I am reworking my inspiration boards. (Not to be confused with my book collages.) My inspiration boards are a pair of ribbon-tacked boards that hang near my desk with pictures of things I like on them--some silly, some thought-provoking. There are cards from friends, postcards from my travels, and dangling from one of them is the violet tutu my daughter wore when she was three. But they haven't been touched in a few years--appalling, no?--and it was definitely time to rearrange them so I can see them with a fresh eye.

Oops! Just accidentally published this--I have NO idea how--but since I did, I will pause here and ramble on again tomorrow...

In which I am on vacation, sort of

Last week I finished the first draft of the fourth Julia Grey book--YAY!!--and am taking a few days to clear my head and restore myself before I dive into revisions. So today, I offer you something beautiful to ponder. Ashes and Snow, Gregory Colbert's multimedia exhibit, which was kindly sent to me by Reader Elizabeth as she thought it was something I might like. She was entirely correct.