In which I have deep friends
A few days ago on my thread about rejecting stress, my friend Kristy left a very astute comment: "I cannot be everything to everyone." I wanted to make sure everybody saw that because it is a truth that will set you free. You can even say it out loud to make sure it really registers. I CANNOT BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE. What a load off our minds, no? If we can't be everything to everyone, that means we don't even have to try. It's unattainable, like trying to scale Everest in a bikini. Not going to happen. In fact, it's downright silly to even contemplate.
But we do want meaningful lives, don't we? Of course we do. And that's why setting priorities is essential. Note, the phrase is "setting" priorities. Setting implies deliberation, thoughtfulness, precision. You can't let priorities happen to you, which is exactly what occurs when you don't examine your life and simply allow things to happen to you. Live is an action verb for a reason. It requires both attention and intention to get it right, to craft the sort of existence you want for yourself.
I know we tend to think in terms of spring cleaning, but I always find the end of the year is the best time to toss out the old to make way for the new, both in terms of possessions and thought patterns. Habits can be weeded out, not with silly New Year's resolutions, but with deliberate practice and quiet conviction. Take inventory of what you have in your life and compare it to the life you want. How far off are you? This can be a tremendous wake-up call to appreciate the life you have or to get going on creating the life you want. You may be much further away from your goals than you think or you may be just about to put a toe on the finish line to goals you've always wanted to achieve. Either way, clear thinking, resolve, and determination will get you there. It's like using a GPS, you have to first know where you want to end up before anyone can tell you how to get there.
So where do you want to be? And since you--as Kristy wisely pointed out--cannot be everything to everyone, who does that free you up to be?
But we do want meaningful lives, don't we? Of course we do. And that's why setting priorities is essential. Note, the phrase is "setting" priorities. Setting implies deliberation, thoughtfulness, precision. You can't let priorities happen to you, which is exactly what occurs when you don't examine your life and simply allow things to happen to you. Live is an action verb for a reason. It requires both attention and intention to get it right, to craft the sort of existence you want for yourself.
I know we tend to think in terms of spring cleaning, but I always find the end of the year is the best time to toss out the old to make way for the new, both in terms of possessions and thought patterns. Habits can be weeded out, not with silly New Year's resolutions, but with deliberate practice and quiet conviction. Take inventory of what you have in your life and compare it to the life you want. How far off are you? This can be a tremendous wake-up call to appreciate the life you have or to get going on creating the life you want. You may be much further away from your goals than you think or you may be just about to put a toe on the finish line to goals you've always wanted to achieve. Either way, clear thinking, resolve, and determination will get you there. It's like using a GPS, you have to first know where you want to end up before anyone can tell you how to get there.
So where do you want to be? And since you--as Kristy wisely pointed out--cannot be everything to everyone, who does that free you up to be?
Labels: philosophizing
posted by deanna at
6:14 AM
2 Comments:
You are dead on. Making that decision last week has totally made a difference this week. I've decided along with my mantra of "I can't be everything to everyone," that another mantra should be "I can't please everyone, so I should focus on pleasing myself."
You know, it frequently strikes me how like-minded people arrive at similar conclusions at similar times. ...Or run into similar inspirations... I just read this last night. "The one kind of change in our lives which is left up to the individual - to each of us - is the change which is created by personal choice." This is by Shad Helmsetter from his book "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself". This particular statement follows a chapter talking about how so many of us just let life happen to us, taking on responsibilities that are forced upon us by the circumstances and ending up never feeling in control and never living out our dreams.
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