In which I am in a MOOD
It doesn't happen that often, I promise, and it usually coincides with the husband's schedule being cattywampus. But I have the mean reds and Tiffany isn't close to hand, so whatever shall I do?
First, what has gotten me to this state, you ask? Incivility. I am fed up to the back teeth with people being mean for no good reason. Somewhere along the line, folks got the idea that just because you CAN say or do something, you SHOULD. Um, no. In fact, I'm pretty sure our parents, elementary school teachers, coaches, and various members of the clergy spent most of our formative years trying to convince us otherwise. So why hasn't it stuck? Why do we feel the need to be so awful to other people so much of the time? From celebrities to politicians, family members to friends, people are just acting like toddlers and I'm tempted to go pull the covers over my head until people can just make nice. (Is it astrological? I know Mercury is in retrograde, but is there something else up that's making people so fractious these days?)
I mean, it isn't as if we all have to agree all the time. In fact, it would be a dull and sad little world if we did. It would be beige. No, worse than beige; it would be GREIGE, that bloodless shade that mourns along somewhere between beige and gray. That would be our world without differences. But isn't being able to show civility in spite of those differences the essence of being a grown-up? Isn't that what separates us from poo-flinging monkeys? Well, that and grammar.
So, I will console my mean reds with muffins and tea and some Alexandra Stoddard, and I will remind myself of the adage that before we say anything, we ought to see if our words can pass through three gates--above the first is lettered, "Is it true?", above the second, "Is it kind?", and above the third, "Is it necessary?" And only then should we speak. And I'm going to work on making sure my own words are able to pass through all three gates.
And I will ponder cures for the mean reds--what are yours?
First, what has gotten me to this state, you ask? Incivility. I am fed up to the back teeth with people being mean for no good reason. Somewhere along the line, folks got the idea that just because you CAN say or do something, you SHOULD. Um, no. In fact, I'm pretty sure our parents, elementary school teachers, coaches, and various members of the clergy spent most of our formative years trying to convince us otherwise. So why hasn't it stuck? Why do we feel the need to be so awful to other people so much of the time? From celebrities to politicians, family members to friends, people are just acting like toddlers and I'm tempted to go pull the covers over my head until people can just make nice. (Is it astrological? I know Mercury is in retrograde, but is there something else up that's making people so fractious these days?)
I mean, it isn't as if we all have to agree all the time. In fact, it would be a dull and sad little world if we did. It would be beige. No, worse than beige; it would be GREIGE, that bloodless shade that mourns along somewhere between beige and gray. That would be our world without differences. But isn't being able to show civility in spite of those differences the essence of being a grown-up? Isn't that what separates us from poo-flinging monkeys? Well, that and grammar.
So, I will console my mean reds with muffins and tea and some Alexandra Stoddard, and I will remind myself of the adage that before we say anything, we ought to see if our words can pass through three gates--above the first is lettered, "Is it true?", above the second, "Is it kind?", and above the third, "Is it necessary?" And only then should we speak. And I'm going to work on making sure my own words are able to pass through all three gates.
And I will ponder cures for the mean reds--what are yours?
Labels: general moaning
posted by deanna at
10:04 AM
9 Comments:
My immediate circle hasn't been acting like a bunch of jerks lately, and all the celeb/politician stuff just seems like outright stupidity to me ... but you aren't the only one feeling frustrated and fed up. Check out Erin's post: http://fiercebeagle.blogspot.com/2009/09/to-sylvias-of-world-how-to-bother.html
The only thing that'll cure me of the mean reds is sleep. Total shutdown, silence, and rest. That pup at your feet might help a bit, too.
Oh, my immediate circle is my sanity right now, believe me! Superb link, Sal--thanks. And thank you also for your regular and much-appreciated civility. ;-)
Real people argue with gusto, and relish the battle and comraderie. Insecure people feel threated and resort to the "smear and smirk" technique for guarding their fragile egos.
You and I, for the most part, don't read the same stuff, but I wouldn't miss your daily input for anything.
By the way, are you going to read Dan Brown's latest book?
If you're talking about the Kanye West/Taylor Swift debacle, I definitely agree with you there. Then, Obama goes and calls Kanye a "jackass" because of the debacle. Not very Presidental, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I do agree, it's stupid that people HAVE to act like immature idiots and continue to be rude. They just have HUGE egos that need to be deflated.
cakewrecks.blogspot.com
Thanks to you for speaking of it here once.
That site never fails to make me laugh.
I spent yesterday on jury duty--not picked for the jury, but 8 hours of voie dire, or however you spell it. I heard people say the most stupid things. I don't have a problem with argument, but I do have a problem with telling people they are stupid just because they don't agree with you. To quote Forrest Gump, "stupid is as stupid does."
there is just too much much of that going around these days, no matter what the argument.
Hear, hear. I am repeatedly shocked by the comments people leave on the internet about people they've never met and really know nothing about.
Reading one of Jasper Fforde's books usually get me out of a bad mood: he skewers the very people who make me angry in the funniest, gentlest way.
~Elizabeth In London
I agree that there seems to be something in the air causing people to be nasty to each other lately. I've just buried myself further into my latest read to escape. Also lots of Carmel Apple Tea (by Zhena's Gypsy Tea) with half & half. Delicious.
Don't forget shoes. Great shoes also seperate us from poo-flinging monkeys. :)
-Melissa
Hi, Deanna. This is my first time commenting on your blog since it moved. I like the three gates image! I'm going to try that one in my life. It's very, very hard to pass under all three gates, isn't it?
Post a Comment
<< Home